All is still super well!
Last week was completely insane and heartbreaking, and it was weird being around a terrorist attack. I’m safe, family and friends are safe, but my heart goes out to those who weren’t as lucky. It was terrifying that explosives were everywhere, it was surreal to not have work at either jobs almost the entire week, and I came out of the situation with a little more perspective on how so much of the world deals with much more serious events than that on a daily basis. I feel lucky and grateful, and will do my best to help those in need. I donated to the One Fund (you should if you can, too) and am hoping that those injured get better soon and learn to live life fearlessly. ♥ Despite my constant wanderlust for England, I am damn proud to be from Massachusetts; the way we pulled together makes every person in the street less of a stranger and more of a helping hand. We could have chosen to be afraid of strangers after what happened, but even still, more people say ‘goodmorning’ and ‘hello’ than before. I think we realized that life is too short and we’re all in this crazy life journey together. Let’s make the best of it by being the best we can be and always strive to be better. Boston wasn’t the only shit show last week. Love to everyone here and all over the world ♥
Besides that, life’s been busy and good. Working about 80 hours a week is busy but I’m glad I’m doing it. Everyday is a challenge (a good one) and instead of burning me out, it’s pushing me to want my goal even more. I love both jobs, love getting my hands on gear and software all day every day, and love that I’m surrounded by good people. ‘S all good.
I’m heading to the beautiful motherland in a MONTH. One month left until I have this!!!!!!!!
Yep, I’m gonna visit Harry Potter. Actually, there’s gonna be no time for him because I’ll be with the coolest person EVER and I’ll get to spend two weeks over there. SOOOO excited; I’ve been waiting for this trip for months… ♥ *swoon*
What else is new… Well, my iMac temporarily shit the bed on Thursday and then my Macbook followed suit Saturday morning. Apple was kind enough to reimage my ancient Macbook for free (the permissions got totally fucked up and I couldn’t log in), and I’m waiting to hear back for my iMac — There’s a chance that it needs a new shell/new power, and I am praying that isn’t the case, because this little lady isn’t really in fit shape to throw down a stupid amount of money on anything but my loans right now. We’ll see how it goes!
Got to go home for a bit yesterday — saw some of the fam and had an appointment. AND found my passport… I somehow left it at my dad’s a while back (don’t know HOW I managed to be so careless, honestly, but it’s secure now and I didn’t have to pass in any of the lost passport forms/make my appointment there).
Soooo, can I just say AGAIN how excited I am for my trip to ENGLAND!?!?!?!?! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Ahhhh, this little lady cannot think of a better vacation… with someone special, somewhere special! So excited to see the home to some of my ancestors and see where my last name comes from, and to ponder more as to WHY they left. SOOOO excited ♥
Hopefully I don’t lose any data on my iMac, because I don’t wanna spend the weekend putting Komplete back on it. I’ve been writing a track for a while now and it’s time to get it in gear. My goal? Have it done by the time I go on my trip :)
Getting a new pair of glasses later this weekend/next week :) Nerd gurl! Will post piccies when I get them, hehe.
Okie dokie :) Time to do some music and wait to go home :) Love!
xx The Unicorn Princess
Everything is looking up! I am loving my two jobs and even though I have a couple of 18 hour days, I’m having a good time :) I’m too lucky to have two audio jobs and to work with two great teams. Not to mention that I am constantly learning, around friends (new and old), and get more experience. I feel like teaching/tutoring others is a great way for one to really learn, along with actually performing tasks over and over again.
Anywho, my trip to England is in about a month & a half. I am over the MOOOOOOON!!! So excited!!! :)
Life is good. Gonna finally get to go home, cook, and relax before an 18 hour day tomorrow. Bye!
“Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I recently saw a video on what we want in life, and the narrator asks us to think of what we would do if money wasn’t an incentive. I started thinking about what the narrator said and pictured myself as a traveler in England, seeing every used bookshop. Being with all the people I care about outside while laughing. Falling asleep with my sweetheart and not having to worry about waking up to alarm clocks and only birds. A dog, endless fields of daisies, wide open spaces, drawers full of pictures and memories, video games, sleeping in and waking up early to catch the sunrise over the hill, reading books all day and getting lost in the stories held within, riding horses, playing guitar and flute, creating, and just overall happiness.
I have been thinking constantly about how much I hate money. I hate what it does to people, I hate the student loan debt that I’m in, and I hate thinking it COULD still be there when I’m 35 or 40 if I follow suit with their payment plans. How it holds me away from seeing the ones I love. How I HATE how one job limits me to my payments, rent, and just enough to live after that, while not really living because I’m not progressing because interest rates are high. So, I applied to relevant audio jobs and a few things caught on, one dropped the hiring process due to a sudden lack of funds, a few told me I need more experience, and then finally, I heard back from a job in the EPD department at Berklee (where I graduated from), and they were generous enough to offer me a position. I am… relieved, to say the least.
The catch? The catch is that I will have MUCH less free time, but I don’t care because this is worth it. My plan is working two full time jobs (75 hours a week) for 2.5 years and dropping as much to my loans as possible (and let’s face it — I am NOT materialistic and am used to living modestly, and while I have the means to treat myself, 95% of what I’ll be making is going to the assholes at Salliemae who screw me with interest every month). If everything goes according to plan and if this schedule stays the same, I will be done paying off my student loans by the time I’m 25.5 and still have a bit left over. I’ll be able to work ONE full time job, I’ll be able to work on my portfolio even more and try to grab as much freelance in the down time I have, and every day will be a promising challenge. I’ll be surrounded by hardware and software at both jobs, working in a team at both, and I will not have to worry about payments anymore because I will have more than the minimum to pay back. I know that anyone reading this is probably thinking ‘she can’t do it’ or ‘is she insane?!’, but here’s the thing — I HAVE to do it. I sound like I’m going off to war here, but it really stresses me out when people say “I’ll miss you” and “You’ll be so tired” and “I don’t think you should do this” because here’s the thing… I don’t WANT to have to wear myself out, but I am young & healthy and have the energy now to do this. I do NOT want to be in my 30s or even 40s, when you’re all buying houses and I’m stuck in some apartment just because it’s cheap and can’t afford to take care of a dog or travel or start a family (if I want to). I need to do this now, I need to get my dad off as a cosigner so he doesn’t get screwed, and I need to do this for me. I will probably be tired a couple days a week, but to be honest, I stay up late anyway and have that problem now with one job, so it’s going to be fine. I am grateful for these opportunities and plan on embracing every second of them. I am a super happy person but sometimes get a little down when I see the terrifying five-digit figure of loans that I owe because it sucks out my freedom. I’m ready to punch the private bank system in the face and beat their shitty 9%+ interest rate system before they beat me. I refuse to defer my loans, to act like a child and ask my dad (who can’t help me, no matter how much he wants to) for help, and to give up. So, I need everyone’s support and would like everyone to not pity me because in this economy, I am blessed to have ONE job, let alone TWO, especially since they are both relevant to music technology.
That being said - I have one day off a week and that is Sunday. I need my friends and family to be cool with me having my day to myself to catch up on sleep & freelance, and I welcome you guys to please VISIT me, because it takes me 2 hours to get to Bradford & 2 hours to get back.
So yeah, if you’re still thinking ‘if she hates money, why does she care about making so much?’, then keep in mind that I went to Berklee to pursue a dream & become a qualified audio person. Of course, you don’t need Berklee to do that (and sometimes I wish I had the strength to self teach myself like some of my brilliant self-taught friends had), but that was my dream. I did it, always intended on paying every cent back, so I’m doing that. None of this money belongs to me, I don’t want it, and after I’m done, I want just enough to live and not worry but mostly because I’ll be in the countryside of England with my dear and with a dog and surrounded by my family & friends and music.
My new job starts on Saturday next week and I am thrilled. I’m ready to beat the shit out of student loans and fuck them over the way they fucked me over. CHEERS, BITCHES! :D
Visiting the fairy fountain isn’t helping with this one.
If you’re living anywhere that’s cold right now, chances are that you’re SICK OF THIS WEATHER just like I am! Don’t get me wrong — I am grateful for everyday that I wake up. I’m in good health, the family & friends are, too, and I’m a very lucky lady. I was just soo cold today - I walked through a foot of snow on the way to and from work and it took over an hour to get there, when it usually takes about 40 minutes by foot. So, since I had to do grocery shopping today, I decided to make spring time in my room. I’ve been working on this demo the past few days to hopefully land another game audio gig, and it’s soul crushing to look out the window to cloudy skies eeeevery weekend and a snowstorm eeeevery Sunday. I’m ready for SPRING!
So, I went to the market and got my favorite flower ever (pink daisies!) and also some mini sunflowers. I found these little word magnets in my closet when I was tidying up and put them together to form ‘good crazy’ (this is very me!). They’re definitely brightening up my room and I placed them on my bookcase (there’s actually room there now, since most of my books are holding my bed up, due to the fact that the metal below it is collapsing, hahaha). So anyway, I made a little fantasy spring time in my room.
This is just a quick way to show that you’re in control of your happiness! :) Wishing for spring but find that it won’t hurry up? Bring it to your room and play pretend!!
Good things that happened that happened today:
- Woke up to a sweet voice that totally melted me :)
- Despite little sleep, I felt energized to get to work!
- Found some interesting bugs occurring in our soon-to-be released 2.0 software.
- Got to create some music at my job with Vocalizer Pro (you guys GOTTA try it out - the possibilities are frickin’ OMNIPOTENT & ENDLESS).
- HR let us go home at 3:30 today!!
- Cashier at the market gave me my pomegranate for half the original price because he said I was a kind person (yay)!
- Got flowers!
- Made lots of noms.
- Caught up with friends!
- Oh, and this happened last night, but it was great to break out of hermit mode and get to celebrate zee Kerry Leva’s birthday with her & old friends from Berklee and new friends, as well! Such a great time.
I hope to report back with some good news about this game. I’ll be spending the night splicing audio & syncing to video to display sound effects & music I created for this game. I’m excited! Regardless of what happens, I’m pretty happy with how productive I was this week. It’s amazing how once you break through your procrastinating stage & fear of failure stage that holds you back, you can actually create some stuff quickly. Regardless of your profession, I feel that this is definitely true. Get working, people!!
Have a good weekend and let’s hope that mutha nature brings some warmth to us soon.
New track of mine. Had lots of fun again with what’s close to my heart: samples from old games & 8bit. Enjoy! ♥
If you haven’t checked out my newest track yet, you can listen here!
It’s something I’d been working on for a little while, with lots of influences from sounds I grew up with from the 8bit generation. I had looots of fun with sound design on this one!
Woke up to more snow this morning. Definitely in need of spring & summer but at least I’m alive to witness winter being pretty.
People in my life who are going through a hard time come to me to feel better. This makes me feel like I’m doing something right. Give give give give give.
My room is filled with:
- Scribbled ideas on pieces of notebook paper about tasks that need to be complete
- Manuscript paper & scores
- Books on electronic music & the production behind it, medieval music, mythology, and English literature
- Pictures of family, friends, and pieces of inspiration
- Audio equipment that I worked hard to save up for
- Files on my compute
- Video games I love
And I look around and feel like I’m closer to my goal at this age than I said I’d be. So grateful.
I’ve got some ideas I’m really excited about that should be done by the middle of March.
Still need to do my taxes. Will probably do them next weekend.
Constantly dreaming is pushing me to w o r k!
I don’t consider my time away from Sonivox on the weekends to be days off - they’re creative days & personal days. Lucky to have what I have.
Coming up with a logo soon, new website should be up within the next couple weeks, working on a few tracks, and budgeting time.
Speaking of budgeting time:
I don’t feel like updating this blog is a distraction. I feel like it’s a reflection, just like keeping a journal or scribbling down ideas in a notebook. I’m pretty good at working under intense pressure & deadlines, and part of it is because I’m terrified of failing (though true failure is giving up and not caring without gaining anything from the experience), because I’m used to being in 12 different places at once from the days I worked myself to death between jobs while in college, but mostly because I see what I have to do right in front of me. My mind is a weird, weird place with tons of ideas floating around, so it’s really helpful for me to write something down. If I write a task down that I need to do, it’s kind of like a written agreement with myself, and I HATE letting myself down. If it’s there on paper and I ignore it, I feel this tremendous weight of guilt if I don’t do it. I’d suggest keeping tabs on what you gotta do if you’re trying to budget time. It helps me, anyway.
That being said: It’s time to have my pomegranate tea & work on some more ideas!! :)
I’m a musician and a sound designer by trade, someone who dives into books and makes dreams happen to the best of my ability, and works hard. I don’t try to be kind because kindness is in my blood (and in yours). It’s more of an effort to be MEAN to people. That being said:
Treat people the way you want to be treated. If you don’t, you’re the one who gets screwed. You won’t get what you want, you’ll look and be a crappy person, and you’re taking a million steps backwards. Stop making fun of others (especially when they’ve done nothing wrong to you) just because they have something that you don’t, let go of jealousy, take a glance at your actions and question if they are fair to others, and then add everything together and think that maybe the reason things suck for you is because YOU ARE MAKING THEM SUCK/YOU SUCK. Cut vicious circles, get distance, stop dragging people on your journey to gain pity, and just MOVE ON and apologize while you’re at it.
You shouldn’t need to restrain yourself from hurting someone else. It should be automatic, even if you yourself have never felt the pain you could cause to someone else. It should be an automatic ‘absolutely not’.
Things to consider:
- Saying ‘this is the last time I’m putting up with this’ to your friends means that it’s the last time you’re putting up with whatever you’re dealing with. If you repeat it after that, your friends will slowly stop wanting to be around someone who intentionally creates more problems. Generally, telling someone something personal that they kept inside is the sign of getting it out there so there’s no turning back. If you turn back, don’t expect anyone to follow you.
- You’re in charge of how you’re treated. If someone is cruel to you, it’s not nice, but you choose your company.
- You’re in charge of your happiness. You cannot depend on someone else to make you happy. You can’t have a relationship unless you’re already happy and comfortable with yourself.
- It’s normal to be upset with legitimate reason. But if you’re always upset over something or angry, can you honestly remember the reason why weeks from now? Probably not, but the people around you remember that you’ve got a really bad vibe about you and will want lots of space.
- It’s not nice to be cruel to people. It’s not funny. It’s not cute, it doesn’t make you look more badass or more attractive. You’re gross if you’re mean.
- Cut negativity from your life.
- STOP CHEATING ON PEOPLE. If you’re in a relationship and you’re not happy, BREAK UP. Don’t damage the person and give them a reason to have severe trust issues with good people in the future. Being cheating on is probably the worst possible pain in the world and just because someone did it to you doesn’t mean you do it back. Don’t let people treat you poorly. It literally ruins lives when people cheat, breaks apart families, prevents trust.
- Take care of yourself! Be with people who are good to you!
- Let people know you care!
- Think about your problems. Now think about people who have it worse. It’s time to be happy again because the worst is over once you let them be over.
Aaand that’s all I have to say. If you relate to any of these, please don’t message me asking if it’s about you because anyone who knows me knows that the way I feel about the above isn’t a secret. Do yourself, others, and me a favor and just get your act together.